"STRIKE THE EARTH!"

I started playing Dwarf Fortress, a charming little game about dwarves who build a fortress. As opposed to a fortress build out of dwarves, which would just be silly. I heard about it quite some time ago and put off checking it out despite how interesting it sounded because I was afraid it's interface would be a cluttered nightmare of shortcut keys and menus. Which it is, but it's not as bad as it sounds really. Nethack is no worse really, and while I would greatly prefer using a mouse for most of the selection process, it works pretty well. I still wouldn't recommend it to anybody by ultra-uber-hardcore gamers. Not because it's hard, although it is, but because it's just so massively overwhelming in almost all aspects. But if any of my non-existent readers wants to try, look here for help.

Right now my current fortress isn't doing so well. Faced with a lack of food and booze (but more armor then I could possibly ever need), most of my dwarves have been caught up in a "Tantrum Spiral" which basically means they all throw fits which causes others to throw fits which causes others to throw fits until every dwarf is doing nothing but stomping around hitting things and wracking all my stuff. Personally I am at this point waiting for them all to die so I can start over and do a better fortress somewhere else. Yeah it sounds heartless but they are the ones who decided to smash my farm. I am just sad to leave all of the tons and tons of more or less useless loot behind. But I could always go get it in adventure mode, where it is bound to be more useful. Adventure mode is an alternative gameplay mode where you can explore old ruins of forts you abandoned and learn more about the world. It's a lot more like Nethack and other such games where your just one guy exploring the world and getting treasure, except the world you explore is the same one you try and make forts on.

The unofficial (hell maybe official) motto of Dwarf Fortress is "Losing is Fun!". And by and large it's true. You can't really win as far as I know, just hold off death for as long as you can, and when anyone dies, they are dead and thats it. But the interesting thing is the game it's self. The way it remembers all your attempts, the way the world and it's history is created more or less by the computer and grows even more as you play, the way you find new things and interesting ways to do things. I guess thats why it's not for everyone. It's not a simple game with a simple score or a simple ending, it's an insanely complex game that manages to be fun anyway.

I bet I will get bored with it after a few weeks anyway though. I always do.

Why consoles suck

I don't own a 360 or a PS3 and probably never will. I do own a Wii but I never use the damn thing. In fact, all the new games I ever play are for my DS and my PSP nowadays. I have a laptop also, but I don't really play games on it. I do however watch videos of people playing games and watch reviews of games, and I think I can safely say there are hardly any games for them I want to play, and even the ones I do, I rather play in bed on a handheld then bother with a TV screen and stuff. The only thing that annoys me is 360 and PS3 have some indie games like Megaman 9 I would like to try. Why can't they put that as a downloadable DSi or PSP game I have no idea. I have alot of old games on my PSP (although my new one isn't set up to play them right now) and I would certainly shell out the cash for the virtual console versions if they worked on the DSi. As far as I know they don't. Nor any indie games. Although PS1 games work on PSP thats a plus, but it's rather annoying that I need hacks to play PS1 games I already own. I also acknowledge the fact I am cheep as hell and don't have the money to pay for any of this crap anyway.

As a side note, why do game makers make indie games for consoles? Or make "updated" versions on systems I will never own? I think it's because PC game development has become more and more troublesome. But it annoys me that there isn't a universal format for simple games. Ya know, like java or flash only it doesn't suck. I guess thats why I got into rom hacking. Emulators are a lot more universal then any one system.

I feel a lot like I did back in the snes and genesis days. I owned nether, could get nether, and didn't really care, and it's only when emulators became available that I went back and discovered how good they were. But then again, as long as I can watch someone play it on youtube, 90% of the games I find thats enough, and I hardly play games nowadays anyway. Maybe I am just getting old.

Rock is boring.

I created a Pandora Radio station a while ago. I try and seed it with songs I like, though I am rather annoyed at it's lack of video game or some of the interesting remix music I find on youtube, but I guess the whole point is to find real bands with traits I like, and it is interesting what I find sometimes. But I really find half the time I don't like "mainstream" music. At all.

Most of this has to do with over use of the guitar. I hate the guitar. Okay, every once and a while there are some cool guitar songs and solos and stuff, so I obviously don't hate it. Even power chords and other distorted guitar, which are overused to the point where I can hardly stand to admit it when a song that uses them is actually GOOD. Of course, this actually happens with pianos and horns and other musical instruments too. Once a band or genre uses them, they will usually use them in every song, non-stop, until you just want to smash every instrument of that type you see. A no doubt related problem is that all songs by any given band usually sound exactly the same. Even songs I like often are the only songs of any given band that is any good, with some exceptions. I guess it's just part of the bigger problem that most music is mass-produced soulless slop. I guess thats the problem when you have a band composed of 4 or 5 members who each only really play one instrument in one style. And the only reason music tends to follow that formula is due to live concerts. I never attend live concerts anyway. I like studio sculpted music with deep and subtle music, not music blared in your ear until they bleed in a crowd of yelling morons, but maybe thats just me.

Video game music somehow often avoids these problems. Sometimes. I think it's just do to forcing game music to be composed on a theme to fit a variety of different areas or moods. Thats why, for example, Final Fantasy music is so dynamic and rich... each song is fit to it's own theme and they rarely repeat form one game to another. Not only do they have a range of themes, but most songs have different styles, from sweeping classical themes, to hard rock, even to techno or salsa. Other games, like Megaman, also seem to share this somewhat. But few bands do. It's just the same old crappy love song with the same old crappy style repeated over and over. But their are those that don't.

Anyway I am a lot more open to different music then I used to be. I used to only really like game music, but I realized over time, that game music is about the same as any other music really, the difference is they don't play the same song 50 times in a row... usually.

Law and Disorder

So my favorite pr0n site, known as rule34 has been getting a bit paranoid about government cracking down on "lolicon". One example they give is this case which is, to me, a prime example of whats wrong with the whole thing. The problem being, art of any kind being prosecuted for being "obscene" or "wrong" without any attempt at justification. And once again the Protect Act lets them get away with it. See, legal action has nothing to do with right and wrong anymore, or even law, just how much someone can push to have someone convicted.

Also I have to say, as someone who enjoys lolicon for various reasons, I am a little offended everyone who does is assumed to go out and abuse random kids. I think people have completely missed the point on this whole issue. Child Abuse is wrong because a child gets hurt. Child Porn is wrong because children get exploited. These are clear cut well defined moral reasons. But drawings? Because someone might want to maybe abuse someone? Sorry not gonna cut it.

On the other hand, I rather dislike rape and forced situations in any context, particularly with children, and I do think people who enjoy such are a bit messed up in the head... but it's still not a moral issue until someone is actually hurt.

Artsy smartsy, gamey wamey

I saw a discussion online about video games, if they can be art, if story is important, and such like that. Well actually I have been hearing discussions like that for a while in various places, so I thought I would share my views on the subject, even if no one is here to share to.

First of all, yes, video games can be art. ANYTHING can be art. I think wikipedia says it best: "Art is the process or product of deliberately arranging elements in a way that appeals to the senses or emotions." Or, in other words, art is about invoking an experience or idea though different mediums. It is an act of reflection of experience or ideas. Thus video games can be as much art as anything else.

The problem that occurs is, most modern video games are a blend of classic game elements, and non-game fictional elements, which often have very little impact on each other. It gets so bad sometimes that the game and the story can effectively been seen as two totally different things. You can effectively often skip all a games story bits, and then look at ONLY the games story bits, or visa versa without either one seeming excessively out of contest. In other words, you might as well make a game with the gameplay and a movie or use other medium of storytelling with the story, without either one being really all that different. Thus some people refer to the "game" as only the game parts and discard the story as a tacked on element (It should be noted, even in a pure gameplay perspective, games STILL can be art -- People can and have used gameplay elements as a point in themselves).

This is not necessarily the case however. There are cases where a game and it's story are very closely related. You can for instance use the form of a game as a storytelling medium. In this case most of the time a storyteller will use a game to invoke sympathy and understanding in a character's plight. It is one thing to hear a character's hardships but another entirely to be forced, if only in a limited way, to actually go though them. This is often why video games were used for storytelling in the first place. Another reason to do this is to open a stories progression to multiple conclusions. Athough useualy seen as a way to give the players a feeling of control, it also serves a function for the story it's self. It makes the conclusions more meaningful because, for once, you can understand the alternatives, and appreciate the choice. It is no surprise that most multiple ending scenarios have a "good" ending and several "bad" ending. And when that's not the case it gives the teller a way explore multiple avenues. The thing is, while the player has the illusion of choice, and can explore themselves and others around them based on that choice, the choice it's self is often the whole point. Now you could say games that do this aren't really games. But they still involve game play, so in my mind, they count as games.

You can also do it in reverse, and have a game that uses storytelling as it's medium. This is what a real role-playing game is all about like in D&D and other tabletop games. Doing it in a VIDEO game can be tricky. However it's not entirely impossible. In this case you are given tools and story elements to build a story with, and often making the story as rich and deep as possible is the whole point.

So my point is, yes, games can be art, and story can be important. It's not always true, but it can be.

Time to Take out the Trash... Tomorrow I sware.

One of my problems is my apartment is often a mess. This is largely because, in my mind, chores fall into to categories: 1. Chores too small to bother with, and 2. Chores to large to do anything with on my own, with an admittedly weird fuzzy area in between when I just simply "forget" about them somehow. In fact if I wasn't made to clean and if I didn't have help, I hate to think how bad my apartment would be then. Probably not too much worse, as I do have standards even if I almost never live up to them. I have seen one or two messy apartments/rooms that have been far worse then mine. I guess it may be true I rely on other people to help too much, but really, if someone thinks I am taking advantage of them I tell them "then stop letting me take advantage of you already!" in some cases it's a little more complicated then that though, I know.

Lately my parents have been helping me out with stuff after the housing program I am involved with started showing more reluctance to. I can understand why my housing program gets a bit peeved at me about it. Technically, it's not their job to do that sort of thing, but they often have to anyway due to regulations. Quite frankly it's a tad unfair for both of us. For them because they have to work around my frankly quite lazy attitude and tendency to procrastinate, and for me because it rather forces me to either conform to their standard or become the "bad guy" by making things more difficult for them then perhaps is needed. My excuse, which of course is not really accepted, is mostly I simply can't do things their way without stressing myself well beyond what I will accept. Which honestly is not much. I have a strict 0% stress limit on anything I do. But of course I am doomed either way because arguing constantly is stressful too. But not nearly as much as the alternative. My parents, as far as I know, don't have a problem with helping me sometimes.

Now I know I am quite selfish in a lot of aspects. I have for a long time believed in a form of "enlightened self-interest" of sorts, and I have long ago abandoned all pretense of being anything close to humble or altruistic, though I try to restrict blatant egoism to a form of self-depreciating humor. But I can be a jerk sometimes. Often I think I need to. Even if I feel bad about it. But it still shocked and irritated me that someone begain to take my laziness personally, comparing it to a sign of a lack of respect. And honestly, they may be right. I don't tend to respect and appreciate people like others do. I could blame it on my condition, but apparently thats been done enough on the net, to the point where you can't even mention my condition without sounding like a giant prick. Can you guess what my condition is? I will give you a hint. It starts with an "A". I could blame it on my philosophy. But not only would that make me seem MORE like a prick, but my philosophic musing has very little to do with it, being mostly metaphysical, and in fact flatly states an opposite moral view it in many ways. Or I could just say I am a prick and move on. But... Yeah. In any case what it is, is a problem.

So what am I going to do about it? Like most people who have problems like this, probably as little as possible. Because I think I have bigger problems. I feel sorry for people who have to put up with my crap, I honestly do. But at the same time, they can always walk away. They can always give up on me. And I wish they wouldn't, because they are useful, and I try to at least treat them with as much respect as I can. Because while some are just doing a job, others really do care. And I simply will not promise that I will get better and work harder unless I really have to. Because that would be an obvious lie.

On the other hand, for the excuses, runarounds, and frustration people get form me, I do honestly truly believe that simply doing what they say is nearly imposable. I always get the same thing. "Why don't you pick up the mess when you make it?" "Why don't you just do something when you see it needs done?" "Why don't you make an effort to remember things?" Because I haven't been able to do it since I was a child and I simply for whatever reason, either don't see the task or automatically dismiss it. And doing work is anguish for me. No matter what. I hate hate hate work. It's like every time I think of it I am physiologically conditioned somehow to assume every task is backbreakingly hard and painful. And hell, it practically is. I sit or lay down so much expending the effort to walk around is almost painful. But that's my own fault I guess. Still I have to practicably hammer half my brain in to get myself to do anything at all. Maybe I just lack willpower. But half the time I don't even see the point.

Maybe I just need hypnotherapy.

Edit: You know, I made this whole long blog post about the mess on my floor rather then, say, cleaning it. What does that tell you?

My Prophecy

The great clock will break,
and prophecy will fail.
Humanity will no longer be bound by gods or spirits, seers or prophets,
And what happens next, no one can say for sure.

Hey if Nostradamus can do it so can I.