Thursday, May 20, 2010

Watch it, filibuster!

I have noticed that often when I argue with someone I tend to use a lot of abstract sweeping philosophy to justify my behavior. I did it today when arguing about my living situation with someone, and I did it in an old argument I was reading that I had with my brother that I won't link to here because it's dumb. So there. It's not generally a good stratagy to use really, because it's often blatant rationalizing of bad behavior and I know it, the person I am arguing with knows it, and anyone else that might be involved knows it. But at the same time, I feel I must at times at least attempt to explain why I am often not willing to change my behavior.

What it all comes down to really is three things. First, I absolutely refuse to accept any sort of moral high-ground or status quo based argument. Ethics I will accept, provided the argument can be made that clearly shows why my action will directly be unethical. Second, I don't take kindly to regulation for regulation's sake, or to pointless bureaucratic shuffling. I will generally follow rules if I see direct immediate consequence or if I feel doing so would be for my best interest or not doing so would be a clear breach of ethics. Third, I will usually do the minimum I feel I need to do, and generally no more then that, unless I feel fulfilled in doing so. If there is a task I feel is unnecessary, I won't do it.

The underlining reason I keep using for these three things is the same. I believe, and see more evidence of each day, that society and government is oppressive, and generally it is because people LET it become oppressive. In every brutal directorship in history and today, it is the people who choose that it's better to lie low then to speak out, to brutalize and march into battle, to stay and not flee. I realize though, both many people don't see it until it is too late, and many people have reason to fear for friends and family if they act. I also realize that brutal directorship and people telling me I should get a job or clean up better is not at all the same thing. It's just that, for me, it's simply not that easy. I simply can't get up and go to a normal job without, frankly, spending far too much effort then I am willing to. I simply can't tidy up without it feeling like I am pulling my own teeth. And yes, that doesn't mean I CAN'T do both those things, It doesn't even mean I WON'T do both those things if I feel I should, it just means I don't feel obligated to do it upon request.

And yes, it is sort of an excuse, but frankly, there is only so much I am willing to put up with and that amount is slipping more and more. I think I am better then I was at least, but I am usually tired and having my sleep breathing device thingy taken away doesn't help, but I didn't use it as much as I should have so eh. The thing is, even though my general outlook and philosophy is mostly positive, I really have very drive for self-preservation. If worse comes to worse, I may just give up on the whole thing. I would never commit suicide and I would never stop hoping for a brighter tomorrow, but I may decide to withdraw myself and give up on today. I am not at that point yet though.

Also: I got WarioWare DIY a few days ago because some online friends recommended it, and while not perfect (only type of interaction is tapping things for example) it still is quite fun to play around with. I wanted to write a whole blog post on it and the series, but I desided to do this one instead. Next time maybe.

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